Imagine a childhood cradle threatened with destruction, school classrooms turned into shelters housing dozens of displaced people instead of the lively voices and intelligent words of students, and family members becoming a source of danger and violence instead of compassion and care. There is no need to imagine this scenario. Since the beginning of the October 7th 2023 Israeli aggression, this has been the reality for many girls and young women who may have survived death but lost their sense of security and life despite continuing to breathe.
Layan is one of these girls whose childhood has been replaced by displacement and whose memories of home are overshadowed by a tragic incident. At the age of 13, she found herself displaced more than once with her family, living at some point inside a school, in a single classroom that brought together her family and her uncle’s family, with only a curtain separating the two families, providing no privacy or isolation.
Layan recounts the incident in a trembling, almost whispering voice, “I was in the bathroom, and when I finished and wanted to leave, I found the door locked. My cousin jumped over the wall, pulled down my pants, and laid me on a chair with my face down. He put his body on top of mine, tied my hands and feet with a rope, and put a knife to my neck and stomach. He did it from behind, and a little from the front… I started screaming, but my voice disappeared out of fear.” Terrified, she dared not tell anyone, “I was afraid to talk, so I quickly wiped my tears so no one would know.”
Her cousin tried to attack her another time, as Layan recounts: “I was walking down the stairs when he followed me, pulled out a knife, and said, ‘If you tell anyone, I’ll stab you and destroy you and your family.’ But then he saw someone coming down the stairs and ran off.”
The two incidents haunted Layan and affected her daily behavior. When her mother noticed the changes, she thought it was due to the displacement and aggression, and it never crossed her mind that her child had been subjected to such sexual assault. Her mother says, “She always looked scared, distracted, and sad, with her hand on her cheek. She insisted on sleeping next to me and refused to go downstairs. She showed many signs of fear. When I talked to her, she would only respond with a few words. I thought it was because of the pressure we were under and because she didn’t eat or dress like other girls.”
However, her doubts grew after receiving notes from mental health counselors who were working with children and noticed Layan’s withdrawal. “There was an organization offering psychological support, and the counselors saw that my daughter wasn’t moving or playing, so they asked me about her.” But what made the mother even more worried was that Layan missed her period for three months. “I asked her if someone had done something to her. She wanted to speak but looked hesitant. I sent her siblings out and sat alone with her, and she told me what had happened.”
The mother continues with sadness and shock, “When I heard her, I knew something was wrong with my daughter, and I stayed up all night worrying. I checked her, and thank God she was fine. I was afraid she might be pregnant, but God spared us.”
Yet she is too afraid that someone will find out what happened because she believes the consequences will be dire. On the one hand, she fears the reaction of Layan’s father: “Her father is very hot-tempered, he could yell and beat. If he finds out, he’ll kill her… it will be a bloodbath!” On the other hand, she is worried that it will become a justification for marriage. “I didn’t think about telling her uncle because I don’t want him to take advantage of the situation and think about asking for her hand in marriage to his son. Even if it is her destiny, I will not give her to him.”
She remembers her daughter before all the assault, and can hardly believe what has become of her. “She was strong, had a sweet personality, helped people, and never let anyone take advantage of her. I never imagined my daughter would go through something like this.”
Now, Layan sees every boy as a threat, to the extent that it has affected her relationship with her brothers. Her mother explains, “She thinks that all boys want to abuse her and she lashes out at her brothers, wanting to take revenge.” Layan adds, “Each time I see him, I’m afraid he’ll do it to me again. I wish I could go back to how I was before, when someone hit me or wronged me, I would take my right back from them.”
But despite everything Layan has been through, she is still a child at heart. She wants her home back, a bed of her own, and colorful little dolls. “If I go back home, the first thing I want to do is find my toys. I miss playing, I miss everything at home, I feel more comfortable there.” With her childish words, Layan indirectly points to a fundamental reason behind the sexual assault, saying, “Before the Israeli aggression, we lived in the family building, but my cousin never tried anything. It only happened after we were displaced.” Her mother confirms this, saying, “If we go back and settle in a house, it won’t happen again.”
The Israeli aggression, displacement, and overcrowding of shelters have contributed to the spread of sexual assault in the Gaza Strip over the past twenty months. There are no rules or laws to protect women and girls, and no privacy can be found behind a curtain or in a tent. These incidents demand serious attention and urgent implementation of reconstruction plans that involve women in the details, as only women know what they need to ensure that they have the stability and privacy they require.
Disclaimer: The names used in the previous testimony are aliases.
“This document has been produced with the support of the Heinrich-Böll-Stiftung. The views expressed herein are those of the author(s) and therefore do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Heinrich-Böll-Stiftung.”
